http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/ BrokenInglish, None of this is true. A political satire magazine en-gb Copyright: (C) ObscureInternet 2008 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi2911071832 Northern Rock, the troubled bank facing possible collapse as the so-called credit crunch takes hold, is, like, totally going to pay back the 23 billion worth of taxpayers money it has been lent by the Bank of England, dudes - just as soon as it gets its shit together. For Bi...Carrington Huxx in Hock. BrokenInglish Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:06:55 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi2911071832 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi1611071750 Prime Minister Gordon Brown was honestly going to confront Saudi Arabian ruler King Abdullah about his countrys human rights abuses, oppression, censorship, corruption, kidnapping, torture and religious extremism during His Majesty’s four-day state visit but there just wasnt a good time, Number 10 said last night. For Bi... Shandwell Neece in London. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi1611071750 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi711072133 Thousands of creepy motel owners who kill lonely travellers are facing bankruptcy and unemployment after years of murdering their customers before settling their bills, according to a new report. For Bi...Morley Tush. BrokenInglish Mon, 12 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi711072133 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi3110071927 Short - President George W. Bush personally led a division of US Marines in a lightning-strike charge into Ho Chi Minh City (formely Saigon) yesterday, finally liberating the city from the clutches of North Vietnamese evil-doers and winning the Vietnam War for the United States once and for all. For Bi...Arlen Hacker in Naaaaaaam. BrokenInglish Thu, 01 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi3110071927 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi269072259 Britains top infotainment hacks issued an open call last night after announcing their intention to re-cast the role of Kate McCann, the mother of missing Madeleine McCann, following accusations that the current Kate McCann, Kate McCann, has consistently failed to live up to agreed media standards of emotional hysteria. For Bi... Timby Napac. BrokenInglish Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi269072259 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi88071848 Just weeks after stepping down as Prime Minister, Tony Blair shocked the nation yesterday by announcing that he plans to relocate to the troubled Iraqi capital Baghdad, in order to enjoy the fruits of his liberty-spreading work. For Bi... Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Thu, 09 Aug 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi88071848 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi136071115 Scientists working on a cure for the debilitating phenomenon known as the New York Times Effect on man have hailed their latest findings as a major breakthrough which could signal an end to years of suffering for dancin men throughout the land. For Bi... Nero Taul. BrokenInglish Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi136071115 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi24407220 Great Britain effectively collapsed as a functioning society last night after finally absorbing the revelations that heir to the throne Prince William has broken up with long-time girlfriend Kate...Whatshername. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi24407220 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi144072037 President George W. Bush apparently lost all recollection of both his own and his administration's actions over the course of the last four years last night as he accused Congress of ‘undercutting our troops' with their attempts to compel him to bring them home from his war in Iraq. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Tue, 17 Apr 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi144072037 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi144072018 Paul "Wolfie" Wolfowitz, the head of the World Bank who is responsible for tackling corruption and nepotism in aid programmes throughout the developing world, apologized yesterday after "mistakenly" giving his girlfriend a promotion and huge pay-rises that were "grossly out of line" with Bank rules. For Bi...Timby Napsac. BrokenInglish Sun, 15 Apr 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi144072018 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi44072317 The White House last night condemned House Speaker Nancy Pelosis visit to Syria as a sickening display of diplomacy that is completely at odds with the Bush Administrations long-standing foreign policy. For Bi... Tipton Xamax in Washington D.C. and Morgan St. Mighty in Damascus. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Apr 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi44072317 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi303072239 The latest conjecture, guess work and empty rhetoric from the BrokenInglish newsroom brought to you as the situation unfolds... BrokenInglish Sat, 31 Mar 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi303072239 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi273072215 The leaders of Northern Ireland's main poltical factions, Sinn Fein's Gerry Adams and Rev. Ian Paisley of the DUP, reached their first historic decision yesterday as they finally agreed on the appetizers for their first meal in power. BrokenInglish Tue, 27 Mar 2007 01:00:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi273072215 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi203072238 Britons breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday after it was announced that the island nation is finally safe from naval assault, seaborne invasions and, er, pirates and stuff, following the Government's decision to renew its Trident nuclear submarine programme. BrokenInglish Wed, 21 Mar 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi203072238 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi262072234 Nixon Mexxes, intrepid on-the-spot reporter for British satellite news channel ActionNewsPunch!, announced this morning that he hopes there is no news today, as he is blitzed after getting completely plastered during an absolute rager at last nights Action News Awards. For Bi... Nero Taul. BrokenInglish Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi262072234 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi82072144 President Vladimir Putin sparked a media sensation last night after the Kremlin confirmed that he had signed a $8.5 million (US) deal with Fox News for a book and TV interview in which the Russian leader will outline the entirely hypothetical plot he would have used to murder exiled dissident Alexander Litvinenko. BrokenInglish Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi82072144 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi311072317 Saviour-of-the-Earth-owned web-lication Insight Magazine and famed facthounds Fox News have set "a blistering early pace" in the race to report the most slapdash, thinly-sourced and deliberately hostile news story of the 2008 Presidential Election Campaign, experts said last night. BrokenInglish Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi311072317 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi27107910 US Vice President Dick "Go F**K Yourself"* Cheney was described as "just plain scary" following his bullish performance on CNN's "The Situation Room" earlier this week. BrokenInglish Mon, 29 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi27107910 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi25107221 An occasional column dedicated to the best in international journalism. This week, Daughter of Dick shows that daddy dearest isn't the only one with his head up his existential conflict... BrokenInglish Fri, 26 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi25107221 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi141072202 President George W. Bush used his keynote speech on the new strategy for victory in Iraq to "send a message" back to the voters of America following their unequivocal rejection of his handling of the war in November's mid-term elections - "Screw You, America!" BrokenInglish Mon, 15 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi141072202 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi81071639 The fallout from the execution of former Iraqi president and until-very-recently practising psychopath Saddam Hussein continued here yesterday, as more unofficial footage of the moustached loon's final moments was leaked on the internet. BrokenInglish Tue, 09 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi81071639 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi0512 Seasoned newsmen and women across the globe reported feelings of unbridled, boundless joy and wonder yesterday as they really got stuck in to the murder of former Russian secret agent Alexander Litvinenko. For Bi...Arlen Hacker. BrokenInglish Wed, 06 Dec 2006 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=bi0512 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=admin20061 The latest column from Sir Arthur, introducing some of our more prominent Bi correspondents to a grateful public. BrokenInglish Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:55:34 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=admin20061 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new002 Fidel Castro is getting proper fed up with talking about US imperialism and the Bush Administrations aggressive foreign policies with visiting Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, sources close to the ailing Cuban leader reported yesterday. For Bi...Morgan St. Mighty. BrokenInglish Wed, 29 Nov 2006 01:14:56 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new002 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new2006112 'What Kate Did Next' by Mimi Spencer. An occasional column dedicated to reviewing the best in international journalism. BrokenInglish Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:46:16 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new2006112 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new0012 As the new dawn broke across America on Wednesday morning, it brought with it a new era as 12 years of Republican dominance in the House of Representatives was swept aside by run-away victories for Democrats and, apparently, Satan. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Fri, 10 Nov 2006 10:26:19 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new0012 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=news005 Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is not afflicted with deficient mental capabilities, nor does he suffer from an involuntary compulsion to say ill-informed, inflammatory and ultimately idiotic things he is just a complete knob, according to a new report. For Bi...Tipton Xamax BrokenInglish Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:19:45 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=news005 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new001 Government spin doctors were reportedly "working like fevered beavers" yesterday as Downing Street struggled to explain an apparent lapse that could overshadow Prime Minister Tony Blair's farewell speech to the Labour Party Conference - his failure to omit the phrase 'so long, suckers!' from the end of his address. For Bi...Daxem Tynee. BrokenInglish Sat, 04 Nov 2006 13:51:56 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=new001 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story14060 Being forced to take part in savage, naked psycho-sexual beatings will not be a highlight of the latest Royal Marines Corps. recruitment drive, sources at the Ministry of Defence confirmed last night. For Bi...Irwell Txixo. BrokenInglish Sun, 15 Jan 2006 23:06:38 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story14060 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04010 The world of anarchic comic hi-jinks was in shock last night after police confirmed that famed Beano superstar Dennis The Menace was on the run following an attempted robbery that went tragically wrong. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Wed, 04 Jan 2006 23:28:16 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04010 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story27120 The entire South West of England was brought to a standstill this week by the freak weather phenomenon known only as snow. For Bi...Timby Napsac. BrokenInglish Tue, 27 Dec 2005 14:05:48 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story27120 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story19120 Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein caused a sensation in court yesterday when his legal team called US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld as a character witness. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Mon, 19 Dec 2005 22:11:30 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story19120 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story12120 Viewers of ITV's late night alleged comedy showcase 'Shoot The Writers!' expressed disappointment yesterday as they were once again left waiting for the shows first joke. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Mon, 12 Dec 2005 19:26:55 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story12120 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story07122 Broken Inglish owner and Editor-in-Chief-for-Life Sir Arthur Cavendish stunned the world of science and planet-naming last night by demanding an explanation for the "shamefully poor" choice of Earth as the name for our home world. For Bi...Darold Hunx. BrokenInglish Wed, 07 Dec 2005 20:43:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story07122 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story05122 Sir Arthur Cavendish Owner, CEO and Editor-in-Chief For Life of Broken Inglish, throws some light on the recent eerie silence. BrokenInglish Mon, 05 Dec 2005 21:14:12 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story05122 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story17112 This week's picks Press red button now. No questions. Press now! BrokenInglish Thu, 17 Nov 2005 19:31:59 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story17112 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04090 World-famous actor Wile E. Coyote was celebrating last night after winning record damages for work-related injuries sustained during his 40-year screen career with Warner Bros. Studios and its Looney Tunes subsidiary. For Bi...Ronal McAchtung. BrokenInglish Sun, 04 Sep 2005 22:07:13 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04090 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story91090 God, widely credited with the creation of the Universe and everything therein, yesterday distanced Himself from comments made by US televangelist Pat Robertson calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Thu, 01 Sep 2005 20:04:15 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story91090 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story30080 The Metropolitan Police Department expressed its 'profound and sincere regret' last night after being rumbled over the fatal shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes. For Bi...Arlen Hacker. BrokenInglish Tue, 30 Aug 2005 23:20:04 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story30080 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story28080 Prime Minister Tony Blair has once again vowed that his way of life will not be changed in the wake of the London bombings. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Sun, 28 Aug 2005 22:34:56 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story28080 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story26080 This week's picks...press red button now for morphine shot. BrokenInglish Fri, 26 Aug 2005 11:18:26 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story26080 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story19080 In a historic double announcement yesterday, President Bush pledged to double aid to some of Africas poorest nations while pledging to defend America's "God-given right" to destroy the planet. For Bi...Chuck Chukkenhauser. BrokenInglish Fri, 19 Aug 2005 20:41:14 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story19080 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=News180805 Mariah Carey has yet to return the choir of African children that accompanied her performance at Live 8, it was claimed yesterday. For Bi...Horace Conatre. BrokenInglish Tue, 16 Aug 2005 23:06:02 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=News180805 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=19 Syrian troops and intelligence operatives expressed regret last night at 'not getting out and seeing more of the real Lebanon' after returning from their 29-year occupation of the country. For Bi...Morgan St. Mighty. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 May 2005 18:25:09 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=19 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=18 This week's picks. Press red button now to send death threat... BrokenInglish Thu, 05 May 2005 17:46:17 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=18 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1509 BrokenInglish's Owner and Editor-In-Chief-for-Life discusses Fleet Street, libel and the good ship Bi. BrokenInglish Sun, 01 May 2005 10:50:53 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1509 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1508 Senior Labour sources last night confirmed that the Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, will be taken to a secret underground location somewhere in the Wiltshire countryside and sealed inside in the final run-up to the General Election. For Bi...Arlen Hacker. BrokenInglish Sun, 17 Apr 2005 13:24:29 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1508 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1507 The Royal Wedding was almost thrown into turmoil at the 11th hour after Prince Charles accidentally invited brutal Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe to his wedding reception, Buckingham Palace has revealed. For Bi...Timby Napsac. BrokenInglish Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:56:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1507 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1506 Concern over the unstable situation in the Middle East deepened last night after the British Foreign Office took the unusual step of confirming that increased tensions with Iran and Syria could lead to 'some heavy shit going down'. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Mon, 04 Apr 2005 20:20:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1506 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1505 Identity theft in UK has taken a dramatic and dark turn, top police chief Sandy Shaw claimed yesterday. For Bi...Carrington Huxx. BrokenInglish Mon, 28 Mar 2005 19:41:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1505 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0808 Jesus Christ of Nazareth, known to millions of followers around the world as the Son of God and one part or other of this Holy Trinity thingy, has admitted for the first time that serious errors were made during His death and resurrection over 2,000 years ago. For Bi...Rogue Ballesteros BrokenInglish Thu, 24 Mar 2005 20:42:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0808 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1504 Britain's most successful all-round swimmer, Sharon Davies MBE, gave her blessing yesterday to the pledge by Palestinian militants to continue to observe a conditional halt in attacks until the end of the year. For Bi...Morgan St. Mighty. BrokenInglish Mon, 21 Mar 2005 17:28:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1504 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1503 In an unusual step yesterday, rebel Labour backbencher Fragrantly Moist, MP for Sodding Dudbury West, announced that Gordon Brown's ill-advised jokes during the delivery of his annual budget speech confused the Prime Ministers hair. For Bi...Bunty Gumbanger. BrokenInglish Sat, 19 Mar 2005 22:12:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1503 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1502 A desperate appeal for information by the boyfriend of missing mother-of-three Sharon Skemlard, 17, only succeeded in convincing the public of his obvious culpability in her as-yet undiscovered and unsubstantiated but nevertheless more than likely abduction and murder, sources confirmed yesterday. For Bi...Duchy Romanov. BrokenInglish Fri, 11 Mar 2005 22:30:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1502 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview3 This week's picks...press red button now to comply with the will of the Master Brain. BrokenInglish Sun, 06 Mar 2005 18:43:01 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview3 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1501 One woman yachting sensation Dame Ellen MacArthur has sensationally achieved another sensational achievement yesterday by causing the entire world to lose interest in both her and her world record in world record time. For Bi...Torsten Finns. BrokenInglish Sun, 27 Feb 2005 19:29:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1501 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1404 Following weeks of rumour and growing unrest, Britain's worst fears were confirmed last week with the confirmation that comedy-trousered power-punk-pop combo Busted had split. For Bi...Whittaker Henley-Tash. BrokenInglish Fri, 28 Jan 2005 22:09:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1404 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1403 A tense standoff over who should empty the rapidly overflowing bin at 25 Koppel Avenue in Battering has entered a 15th nail-biting day, sources reported yesterday. For Bi...Roly Chucklesson. BrokenInglish Sun, 26 Dec 2004 16:16:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1403 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview2 Broken Inglish cast a critcal eye of this years Christmas TV. BrokenInglish Sat, 18 Dec 2004 23:01:01 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview2 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1401 Home secretary David Blunkett won a landmark legal victory yesterday as he secured an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO) against himself following what he called a catalogue of despicable behaviour that no ordinary person should be expected to tolerate. For Bi...Ornery Chasington. BrokenInglish Wed, 15 Dec 2004 19:15:00 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1401 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1303 La Cosa Nostra scooped their 12th straight Most Entertaining Organised Crime Syndicate award at last night's glamorous TV-Inspiring Crime Awards. For Bi...Duvell Simmons. BrokenInglish Tue, 14 Sep 2004 14:35:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1303 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1302 Panicking FA kingpins are to turn to double Olympic super-thlete Kelly Holmes in a bid to restore our one proud nation's fortunes on the football pitch. For Bi...Tristan Spillchocker. BrokenInglish Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:33:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1302 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1301 Dr Hans Brakkenhakker, diabolical evil genius and founder of the now defunct KAYOS Foundation, admitted yesterday that he made a serious error of judgement when he ordered a five-minute countdown before the launch of his doomsday device, the K-AYOS 1 missile, last week. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Sat, 11 Sep 2004 11:31:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1301 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1205 London will have wild-eyed, dishevelled lunatics babbling incoherently at passers by on every street corner in time for the 2012 Olympics, the team behind the citys host bid have announced. For Bi...Dorsey Harangue. BrokenInglish Fri, 27 Aug 2004 22:16:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1205 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1202 Every crime committed in the last 10 years can be directly or indirectly linked to computer games, according to a new report by Government think-tank the Knee-Jerk Foundation (KJF). For Bi...Carrington Huxx. BrokenInglish Wed, 25 Aug 2004 21:07:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1202 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1204 The Iraq War plus the escalating cost of counter-insurgency operations since the countrys liberation has forced a rethink for Great Britains Olympic squad, junior sports minister Clefton Limpett announced last night. For Bi...Clive Whackbury. BrokenInglish Wed, 25 Aug 2004 21:06:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1204 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1203 Recent advances in stem cell treatment threatens to overshadow the 2012 Olympic Games, warns TV personality Derek Griffiths. For Bi...Mentalton Sharpie. BrokenInglish Wed, 25 Aug 2004 21:04:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1203 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1201 As English football reels from the arrival of yet another stinking, grubby-faced orphan child called Scandal (or possibly Sex Scandal) on its freshly-scrubbed doorstep, the nation once again has cause to question the ethics and values of those leading this, the beautiful game. For Bi...Sir Arhtur Cavendish. BrokenInglish Wed, 25 Aug 2004 20:59:17 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story1201 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0905 Hundreds of thousands of starving, diseased refugees in the troubled Darfur region of Sudan just aren't doing it for the US administration and are unlikely to hold the attention of the public, making American intervention in the country unlikely, it has been announced. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:44:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0905 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0904 Alfred Royston Boyce, 115, was arrested in his care home in Chipping Sodbury early yesterday morning on suspicion that he has killed everyone he went to school with over a century ago. For Bi...Maggie Bangels. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:43:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0904 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0903 The government has launched a reassuring information campaign about what to do in the event of a major emergency or terrorist attack with the message: "Panic And You're Dead. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:41:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0903 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0902 Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon is to honour 20,000 members of Britain's Army, Navy and Air Force for their bravery, dedication and distinguished service of the nation, before making them redundant. For Bi...Ari Funkenhowser. BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:37:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0902 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0901 Last week, Bath-based athlete Kristian Bromley became the first Brit to win the World Cup series for skeleton bobsleigh with victory in Altenberg, Germany. How will the nation hail its new hero? Broken TV looks at some of the programmes hastily being thrown together to commemorate the occasion... BrokenInglish Thu, 05 Aug 2004 20:32:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0901 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story07 Much-loved entertainer, philanthropist and philosopher Basil Brush is to receive a knighthood in the New Year's Honours List, Buckingham Palace has announced. For Bi...Templeton Chaud. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:15:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story07 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0606 Ed Sutton, the much-respected voice of the prizes on TV quiz show Thats My Fact!, refused to tell contestants what they had won yesterday as part of his on-going contract dispute with the programme's maker, Kingley Productions. For Bi...Timby Napsac. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:13:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0606 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0604 Several members of Tonkington-based family the Tanners were threatening strike action last night as the battle for more affection and interest from their head of household, company director Kenneth Tanner, reached a new intensity. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:12:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0604 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0602 A bitter dispute threatened to split the Anglican Church yesterday following the consecration of the worlds first openly hypocritical bishop. For Bi...Ari Funkenhowser. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:10:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0602 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0601 Despite repeated exposure to thought provoking materials over the course of his life, Ted Foogles thoughts have steadfastly refused to react. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:09:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story0601 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story06 England is gripped by rugger bugger fever following the rugby union team's dramatic World Cup win in Australia. For Bi...Clive Whackbury. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:08:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story06 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story05 Serial killer Mark Gordon has been forced to start all over again after he lost count of his victims, he reported yesterday. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:06:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=Story05 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04 The Man vehemently denied long-standing allegations that he has been getting totally heavy on everyone at a dramatic press conference yesterday. For Bi...Darold Hunx. BrokenInglish Sat, 17 Apr 2004 22:03:00 +0100 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story04 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview1 BrokenInglish checks out Peter Mandelsons BBC BrokenInglish Sun, 14 Mar 2004 16:02:01 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=tvreview1 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview03 Oklahoma Citys space rockers touch down to uplift Manchester BrokenInglish Thu, 11 Mar 2004 21:47:01 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview03 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview02 Lowestofts rock heroes continue the charm offensive BrokenInglish Thu, 11 Mar 2004 21:44:45 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview02 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview01 Miserable in Manchester ? Then you missed I Am Kloot. BrokenInglish Thu, 11 Mar 2004 21:43:12 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=mreview01 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=freview01 Review of Richard Curtis film Love Actually BrokenInglish Thu, 11 Mar 2004 21:40:49 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=freview01 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0103 Jodie Marsh has breasts, the Essex-born woman has again confirmed. For Bi...Timby Napsac. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0103 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0102 Despite not winning any money, exotic holidays or fabulous prizes of any kind, the Galbraith family of Middlesbrough confirmed they have had a great day to game show host Les Kingley last night. For Bi...Shandwell Neece. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0102 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0104 British industrys leading fat cats tormented a homeless orphan boy for fun last Tuesday, witnesses claim. For Bi...Morgan St. Mighty. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0104 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0204 Maxims such as "next week is just around the corner" and "it'll be tomorrow before you know it" are "just plain wrong", according to a new report. For Bi...Carrington Huxx. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0204 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0203 After several months of trials, nutritionists at Stockholm Teaching Hospital have concluded that the controversial Atkins diet potentially exists. For Bi...Fal Shixton. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0203 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0202 The Sixth Annual University of Colorado International Interdisciplinary History Conference turned into a gruesome butcher shop yesterday. For Bi..Eli Topaz. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:41:39 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0202 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0101 Advances in digital, satellite and mobile technology will give every man, woman and child access to a host of multimedia services by 2006, bringing the full horror of modern existence into every home, according to leading doom-mongers at the Hersch Institute of Distopian Studies. For Bi...Carrington Huxx. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:39:17 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0101 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0201 Sebastian DeBier, a trader with investment bank Billet and Groom International is excited by the prospect of terrorist attacks in the City of London as they would provide a chance for him to display his heroic leadership qualities, he announced yesterday. For Bi...Tipton Xamax. BrokenInglish Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:39:17 +0000 http://www.obscureinternet.com/brokeninglish/?story=story0201