Bill Wood Rocks – Thats how we do it out in the woods

Sometimes I think to myself – what is the most offensive thing that I have ever done. Could it be blacking myself up with lipstick and wandering around a predominantly black area of Nottingham under the somewhat shaky guise of having “been down’t pit”? Could it be wandering the streets of my native Hartlepool topless whilst clutching a meat cleaver and meat tenderisor? Maybe it was the time when I held a Smartie within my foreskin for about 5 minutes before feeding it to a grateful child? Or could it even be the time when I was unable to find my room in my favourite hotel so proceeded to piss against the wall in the corridor. And then sleep in it.

It could be any of the above, it could also be this song. A collaboration between me and my friend Fish I am sorry to say that the words all flow from my honeyed pen.

But is it worse than the time that I ran past my new housemate, naked and screaming, with my distended cock flapping between my legs irreperably stained by the sloppy runny turd of my erstwhile hideous girlfriend?
You decide.

My singing sucks

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