I’m not here to type this. You’re not there to read it. Nothing exists anymore. Literally nothing.
The Large Hadron Collider was fired up earlier this week. This wasn’t really that big a deal, but some barmy Americans decided that it was going to end the world. They took the owners and scientists responsible for the [...]

Q. So, who are you anyway?
We are The Upbeat Glass Smash! Or ThUGS for short.  Anonymity - I can’t decide if that’s good or not - works for Daft Punk doesn’t it?  …..Although they have names don’t they?  The Upbeat Glass Smash started firstly with the purchase of the popular ‘music series’ on the Playstation and [...]

The weather was going to be a bit naughty today (10th of March, Gregorian Calendar fans!) so the usual media outlets had the audacity to tell us in advance. The fools! How can we blame them when all of our houses are upside down, if we knew it was coming? Anyway, [...]

We all knew the big event of the week. We knew how it would develop.
The man at the centre of the storm was led, unsteadily, up the steps. All around him were cheers, jeers and obscenities, all aimed at him. He shrugged them off. He was safe within the courage of his [...]

Why is it, that when I’m at work for example, my mind is abuzz with things to write stuff about? But when I’m sat here, I can think of nothing but grey?
Is it perhaps that menial tasks concentrate the mind, allowing you to attain an almost transcendental state of oneness? [...]

It’s a young man’s game, is dancing. It marks your territory. It shows the opposite sex that you are agile and by association, fertile. It also makes you look like a complete and utter cock.
When was the last time you saw someone knocking out some moves to some music and thought to [...]

What goes around comes around. In the late 90’s we were subjected to a plague of ‘fashionistas’ (flash or what?) telling us that the 70’s were like, so in man, and that we should resurrect loon pants and Huggy Bear style platform shoes, with goldfish in the soles.
But no. The sensible people [...]

Rocky Balboa. Bit docile, short on words, and not even technically a boxer. More like a slightly animated punch bag. All of Rocky’s fights were won (and lost) on the basis of him having the shite beaten out of him, and then either losing on points or climbing the ropes in the last seconds of [...]