Bloodthirsty Melon – Chronicles of a Shirtless Vampire

J.A. Cares Issue 11

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Unemployment is just too much fun which is why there hasn’t been a new post since like forever. However, as the e-mail inbox continues to stack up (all spam) it’s time to get back to work. Since we are in wedding season I decided to try and help (ridicule) someone who is having a problem with a bachelor party.

J.A. Cares Issue 10

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My new year’s resolution was to work harder than ever, that was before my job gave me the boot. Lord Obama called me upset because me being unemployed hurt his job numbers. Obscure Internet called asking why if I was unemployed I was not submitting more.

J.A.’s : Things we do because we are suppose to but rather not – II

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They say having children is necessary to keep the species going. The problem is that the dumber and uglier people are the more likely they are to have kids and lots of them

J.A. Cares Issue 9

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I haven’t been to the movies in a long time mainly because my home theater kicks the crap out of most of the non-IMAX screens out there. The other reason is a lot of movies just suck ass and I rather not waste my money on them, but what happens when a movie is affecting [...]

Breaking Down Online Dating Profiles – J.A. Style

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So this last week an issue came up where it was believed I was out searching the online dating world for a love nougat, while it wasn’t the case it did get me thinking about online dating again, but more specifically the profiles of the women out there.

J.A.’s : Things we do because we are suppose to but rather not

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I have been able to spend some time out in the real world and have observed many of the little things we have to do and say to be accepted in society.

J.A. Cares Issue #8

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The maintenance staff here at ObscureInternet world headquarters brought me a new desk chair. The old one had a… incident. It seems you cannot lean all the way back in the default office chairs while typing on your wireless keyboard and eating fish and chips, who would have known.

J.A. Cares Issue #7.5

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You found yourself deep in the throes of passion and in a moment of weakness uttered the words; let’s get married. Perhaps you really wanted to get married, but if you are a man then it is clear you didn’t know what you were getting into.

J.A. Cares Issue #7

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Summer is the time for blockbuster popcorn flicks, trips to the beach and hopefully BBQ’s that don’t suck. However, it is, unfortunately, also a prime time for some to get married.

The Incredible Child-Nip

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Hello ladies and gentlemen J.A. Laraque here to tell you about the incredible new product from Spore Co. called Child-Nip.

J.A. Cares Issue #6

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This time on J.A. Cares. J.A. has dug through his pile of e-mails to bring you another caring letter from an adoring fan.

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse #3

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There is only so much of a budget for a movie and so one sure way to save on costs is to stuff everyone in a bunker or other tight space for about 80% of it. However, there comes the time that you either run out of supplies or your location is no longer secure.

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse #2

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So you’ve survived the swine flu Lord Obama has tested his loyal subjects with. This is a good thing and you may be worthy, but you are not yet ready. The Zombie Apocalypse is still upon us and you must be prepared, so, let’s continue.

Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse – A J.A. Care’s #5 Special Event Part 1

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Even though 2012 is still a bit of a ways away people are already bombarding my office here at the ObscureInternet world headquarters about what they should do to try to survive the coming apocalypse.

Dating Deal-Breakers

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Some of you may think finding a date is easy, but as one of the many things the interwebs have taught me truly it is not.

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Obscure Gamer – (Real)time has run out

So Scottish developer Realtime Worlds has gone into administration, following the poor response to its online game APB, leaving ambitious future project MyWorld hanging in the balance. What has gone wrong for founder David Jones, and what impact will it have on the British software industry?

MySpace Interview – Unkle Funkle

So, who are you anyway? Unkle Funkle, savour of the galaxy. Through the mighty weapon of da Funk I am taking over this planet – dance-step by dance-step. Describe your sound for us. I implanted the DNA of the original late 60′s and 70′s funkateers into my hips. That combined with my love for soul [...]

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